Just why?

Everyday I am alive also means that everyday I'd have to ask the same question, why was I born in such a world like this?
A world full of shit and corruption. A world that takes a human life and shove it straight up whatever's ass available. I am living, but I'm not living at all, merely just an observer. I observe how humanity is slowly decaying, its shell shattered and its core blackened. We are not just a race anymore as we turn ourselves into a a collective of disconnected individuals that, regardless of the same physical and biological structures, don't give a fuck about one another. If someone's dead, it's their problem. If someone's poor, it's their problem. If someone's getting brutally murdered, unless you're a police or doctor, no one fucking cares (and if they care, it's only their job to care anyway)
I'm always being told to stay positive, to not let all the dark thoughts take over my mind. But at the end, those are just sweet words which main purpose is to drive me away from the harsh reality that humankind is all but fucked up to the brain. And until we are slapped in the face by this reality, we WILL continue to drown in our less-than-innocent ignorance
Sometimes it is difficult to realize that everything around me is just a lie all along, and that each of us has in our head the seed of darkness that will trigger if our lives crumble to pieces. I deny living in this world knowing that it is turning into the hell that it is. And I refuse to acknowledge that humans have good qualities in us, because we don't and never will. There will be fucked up people, and those fucked up people will kill us all
May one day humanity survive this and hopefully no more fucked up people around
 

Just a heads up

I got 300 pageviews!!!!!......And probably 150 is by me
Anyway, this will not be a full blog post. Just something I've been thinking about since yesterday
It's just that my blog has turned into a place where I vent my anger instead of expressing my true self. That wasn't why I started writing blogs. I started this because I want to become a writer. This was supposed to be the platform for me to launch my writing career. Yet this has become a personal tool for me to vent my petty frustration
That's why, from now on, I'm going to clean up my act. No more rant post (though sometimes, you might see one) and I will focus on writing more serious blogs
That is all

DFTBA - Don't Forget To Be Awesome

I don't care anymore

I DON'T CARE

That's right, you heard me. That will be my new motto in life. I don't give a fucking giant care anymore. I'm sick of being treated like this. Does it matter to anyone that I try my fucking best to be a better man? Of course the answer is a simple NO
Nobody cares. So that's why I shouldn't care too. No word of appreciation, not even a thank you. Y'all treat me like a fucking spoiled kid and that I am sick of
You know what, that's it. I'll still do what I do. I'll be a better man. I don't even want to try and take revenge on something I don't give a flying fuck anymore. And when I'm done, I will get the fuck out. No one will see me ever again. Because I'm really really really sick of being near everyone



And no, ain't gonna abandon this blog, so don't worry. But then again, who read this shit of mine anyway right?
Tata for now


FUCKING DON'T CARE

Does being dirty minded make me a pervert?

When I talk to people I know and I'm comfortable talking with, I tend to speak with many innuendos slipped in. Like, does that make me a pervert?
Sure it might be a little off putting but those people know me, and they seem fine with it. I don't think that's troubling at all. I mean, I'm guy and a guy is supposed to speak with innuendos. It is our common language. We can't just stay quiet without being dirty
That, however, doesn't make us perverts. Being a pervert is looking at female bodies like you're about to tear them apart, being a pervert is about raping little underage girls
Being dirty minded though, it's just fun....And a little bit sexy too
But hey, each to our own. If you can't take it a man being so dirty minded then everyone should fuck off


I really don't know what I'm talking about anymore. Too-Tired-To-Think-Straight
Bye bye

AA thought on fate

Sometimes life can behave in a strange way. I mean, just look at it this way, one day you might find a bag of money on the street for no apparent reason a all (whether you decide to keep it or return it to its owner is up to you). But on the next day, you might end up staying in the hospital because of some freak accident. The good lucks and good lucks in your life are in such harmonization yet they feel so disorderly
Do all those things happen because of pure coincidence? Or is there something much bigger that dictates how you live your life and controls your choices? I may be a little bit paranoid, but everything that's happened in your life might not be your own subconscious making after all. I think it's the result of something called fate
For your information, I am not a superstitious person nor am I too religious. But I do believe fate exists.  Fate is the string that binds us all together. Everything we do, no matter how small, is the catalyst of a much bigger event in the future. Our lives are already predetermined by fate, so even if you manage to somehow defy fate (and rarely does that happen just because the fat it's impossible to go against something you don't even realize exist), fate will eventually leads you back to your correct path
It's just too weird to think about how our lives will only go just one way. Heck, maybe that's why there are multiple universes out there, many of us with the same appearance but with different fates. Okay, I think I need to stop before my mind gets blown into pieces by such knowledge
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. I am not crazy. I might a bit "out there" for thinking such a thing but it could happen in this big world. You never know

DFTBA - Don't Forget To Be Awesome

 

A little Sunday thought

First and foremost, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

Anyway, I was planning to write a blog post about why wanted to write blogs. But then I thought, why would you want to hear a boring guy talking about his reason to write blogs, right? I mean, I can come up with thousands of elaborate ways to say it but it all comes down to one really: I want to get attention. I write blogs because I want to be noticed
Now since I got my truthfulness out of the way, let's talk about some Sunday fun eh?
As mentioned above, it's Mother's Day. Have I done anything for my mom today? Well, not really. But before you chase my down with torches and pitch forks and start calling me unfilial, let me remind you that it's the thought that counts. It's notas if you have to give your mothers big, giant gifts to show her that you love her. Mother's day is not about presents, but it's about the appreciation for mothers all over the world
But to be honest, I feel like for the past few years, I've been continuosly disappointing my mother. I feel really terrible. Sometimes she can be really nagging and annoying but I know it's all for my good. And boy did I mess up so many times that my mom has to bail me out......I total deserve everything for what I did. It's just that I feel so bad that my mom had to get involved and that turned her into my accomplice, effectively putting part of a blame on her. Right now, I'm trying my best to a least be someone my mother can be proud of andwipe that shitty record out of my life

Okay, that's all really for a little tiny thought for Sunday. Hope y'all have fun with your mothers today and don't forget to love every single minute you spend with your mom. Havea good day

DFTBA - Don't Forget To Be Awesome 

Money, money, money

Money

A simple 5 syllable word that packs such a powerful aura surrounding it. It's the thing that our own world, our own lives revolve around. Why is it that we, the people who created the concept of money, be the slaves of our own creation like that? We let money buy our food, we let money buy our house, we let money buy even our own happiness. And all of that happened because of what?

It's the corrupt system we are living in right now that's teaching us to worship money. The system so flawed that the rich can take every single advantage of the poor and get away with it crime free. In this sort of system, "Mo money mo problem" doesn't exist, it's supposed to  be "No money, you're dead"

But that doesn't mean anything as long as people have money right? I know it's true because for the fact that I was cursed by this system too for my obsession with money. For one thing I know, I'd gladly die to get my money in this God forsaking society

How ironic

Try living with both OCD and ADHD, oh the fun

I never really thought about it but can you actually live with both very contradicting psychological syndromes like OCD and ADHD?
Like, for real, one makes you go for an obsessive spree of organizing things and one makes you complete forget the point of everything you're trying to do in life. Well, but for some amazing reason, I sort of possess both of those syndromes
For me, being organized is like my rule of existence. Everything has to be in tip top shape. I can't stand it when objects lying around in a very disorderly way. If I ever find something that is not put the way it's supposed to, I'll fix it right away......The only question is, do I remember to do it? That's when my oh so despicable ADHD comes into play
I have a really hard time concentrating. I am the master of forgetting, being distracted and procrastinating. That's why it's kind of hard to me to get things done. Cleaning and organizing stuff in my house would be such tough jobs if not for my short-term attention span

(Really, it is difficult, I actually intended to write this blog post several days ago but because of it, now I have to sit on my ass typing this and almost skipped dinner)

But somehow I think having both really balances things out a bit. I wouldn't have to be too much of a neat freak, but a distracted neat freak who can't get things cleaned even if he wants to because he gets too damn distracted by doing unnecessary things that nobody cares about and not realizing that he is.....Oh dear, I got way out of point again. Time to end this blog

DFTBA - Don't Forget To Be Awesome 

*If I offend anyone who has OCD or ADHD in the above blog, then I deeply apologize  

A very rant-y return

Well, it's really been a long time since my last post here. I wish my return here would be a lot more fun and on a positive not but unfortunately, I have a little bit of rant being bottled up inside that seriously need to be let out, or else I will explode. This rant is dedicated to an asshole of a professor of mine that teaches nothing but his false knowledge and lies.

What is the quality of an educator? Is it the ability to connect to your students? Or is it the ability to guide the young to their preferred path in life? Nope, all wrong, apparently the real quality of an educator is to intimidate your students, to talk down to them like you're levels above them and worst of all, to see them as nothing but means to get money

Oh yes, you saw it right. Those are the REAL qualities of being an educator. The reason why I said all of that? Well let's see, from what I have witnessed and gone through for the past few years, I can safely say that education has turned for the worst. And all of that happened not because of the study programs, oh no, the study programs are fine. The problem here lies in the system where the programs are being used. And when the system has problems, so do the educators. The teachers, the professors, they are starting to become the opposite of what are supposed to be

I don't even know how someone as biased, closed minded, unfair and partially crazy like you can become a professor. I'm really sorry but does your old ind get to you already? Does some of your throat cancer go to your brain and damage it? You try to intimidate your students and then you fear they might take revenge on you. You pathetic old man does not deserve the tittle of professor, let alone an educator. You look down on us students just because you think you have the age on us. I feel really sorry for your old ass if you think like that. Don't ever think like that because of one fact, just because you're older doesn't mean you're wiser or more knowledgeable, and by judging your actions, I think I can safely say you're worse than the worst of scums. You think you are a god inside the classroom, but realistically speaking, you're just a road we step on while we're finding our ways in life. It isn't disrespectful when I compare educators to roads. Good educators can be the cement roads: hard, reliable and safe. While bad ones are dirt roads: dirty, muddy and full of potholes. And you, professor, you're nothing but a big swamp: disgusting, dangerous and ready to sink us down to drown us.

I'd have written some more but really, what's the point to say it if the person you're writing this to doesn't even have an ounce of understanding of the language you're using. I'd make me more tired thinking about it. I will keep this short and clear. I hope you stinking "professor" have a good life and that you're dead before lungs cancer kills you.....Because death by cancer is too easy for you